Saying to someone to move on sounds easy, but for me - it’s the opposite. Maybe I’m overthinking things.
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Hello @KidDJ. We are sorry to hear that you are having these difficult thoughts. We are here to support you. Can you speak more about this? What specifically are you being advised to ‘move on’ from?
Betrayal, abandonment, OCD, depression - everything. I’m done.
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If it makes you feel any better. It took me 5 years to heal from a break up. It ended when I was 27. And Im glad I took that time to be single and alone. Im really glad. I might even take more time if I need to.
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If it never gets better, a painless end of my life will be worth a shot. It hurts. I don’t want anymore of this world. Life is already painful as it is. I’m lost and confused. It’s my fault.
It is not your fault at all, these are things can be helped through therapy and medication and sometimes just some really strict self love. Hugs, we are here for you.
If the pain continues to plague my life even more, then I don’t know.
I think it is from a movie, but the saying is, Life is Pain, it isn’t always sweet, but there is sweetness in it, you are still young and I am not saying it will get better, but you are at home, you still have to listen to your parents and their rules. Life on your own, making your own way and choices, COULD maybe be better.
It’s not your fault, and thats what that time with yourself helps you realize. Truly. It got much much better. Sometimes I still have suicidal ideation, but thats because of grief from th3 past, and being unable to make friends bow because of the past experiences. You can really learn a lot from friends, mainly how to sort the righr people from the wrong, and how to set boundaries for yourself, to put YOUR dignity first. It just sounds like people have really hurt yoy and stepped on your boundaries, otherwise you wouldnt feel this way. Youd see how wonderful you are.
It can really help, when feeling lije this, to go to the library or a coffee shop and just sit and be with people in a safe environment. You remember there are peaceful ways to be, and sometimes unfortunately family is not the best model
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It’s hard to believe in myself.
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Even if I don’t think about pain, it just gets worse over time.
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Can you start to love yourself? Look in the mirror each day and love one thing about yourself unconditionally each day. Make it a habit. You can do it!!! Self love is one way to happiness and really loving yourself. Treat yourself each week with something you like. Examples are facials or massage. Getting pedicures. Dont forget once you love yourself then other things in life will come to you in time. Hope i helped. Hugs.
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Thank you. 
Yea, it can be hard. If it makes you feel any better, you dont have to believe in yourself too much, you just have to recognize and take care of your needs. So stuff like eating on time, eating foods good for your brain, these things lift up mood. Chia seeds are really great. theyre about 6-8$ for a bag, a tsp in yogurt is good.
besided thar, decide your goal. career is everything. Ans just focus hard on it and dedicate the nect 5 years to your career and then youre free.
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You can get therapy , it might sting for now but tske your time to hesl there is no rush. Life is not a race, heartbreak happens and no matter what has occoured do not blame yourself for it and learn to forgive yourself.
And what if it is my fault? 
Then accept that you are human and prone to mistakes in life. Sometimes that is hard to do but as long as you learn and progress away from mistakes it was worth it. We all have differing things we do well at, as well as those things we struggle with. But humans are complex.
Sometimes it’s hard to find positive once you are in a negative head space. But if you alter your thought process, you can more often find the positives to celebrate. Often it’s harder for you to see those things as compared to others, but when you look you will find.
As example, for being a person as young as you are, I find it notable that you are on a self improvement and support forum seeking ways to better yourself. You are taking steps already that many will never make. Instead of being upset about what hasn’t changed the way you want, be positive about what has changed.
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Our childhood is never our fault, but it is our responsibility unfortunately to choose how we react to our experiences. Which is really really hard, depending on how tough our childhood was. But from what I can see, you have a kind heart and to me, that makws you a good person. So dont be hard on yourself, just have to become resourceful as we grow up, the resources are out there you have to fight for them. Sometimes that means asking for them, and mosy of all like I said, your career is your golden ticket. Money brings open doors, doors to affording therapy, a safe house, a stable independent live where you dony have to rely on toxic people.
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Some great points @Doodle1234
One that really resonates with me is removing toxic people from your life. At the same time, we have to accept that just like us, others are human and imperfect. But some people project everything on others, and we CAN expect more than that.
And I’m glad that someone else could easily find a positive in @KidDJ . From the outside looking in, it’s often not that hard.
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